“What Do Men Really Want?”
This week’s blog is written by my husband, Matt Bridges. Check out his take on what men really want in life and marriage…
When you read this title, chances are you already had an answer in mind. Let’s be honest-most men aren’t really complicated. In marriage, many of us want these things: respect, peace in the home, a sense of independence and sex. Yet, often, we find ourselves frustrated because we aren’t getting what we want. So, the real question becomes….why? It starts with leadership…we have to ask ourselves, “Are we really leading our home?” Not just providing a roof over your family’s head or food on the table, but truly leading your family.
Early in my marriage, I didn’t understand this and was full of ignorance. I believed that going to work, taking a vacation with the family, and having some money in the account meant I had it all figured out. I thought I was doing it all right. But, somewhere along the way, I realized something was off. The things I wanted most in my marriage seemed to disappear, and I found myself angry more often than not. Looking back, I can see that my selfishness kept me from recognizing my family’s true needs and the blessings before me. Instead of taking ownership, I stayed focused on myself. Most of us know how a diamond is formed-a lump of coal, shaped over time by intense pressure and heat, eventually becomes something beautiful. In the same way, growth and change come; it doesn’t happen overnight. It took as well as continues to take time for God to reshape my heart.
So, how does that change begin? How do we grow into being the men that lead well? Paul tells us in Ephesians 5 that husbands are called to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church. Think about that for a moment-placing your wife’s every day needs ahead of your own, much like she does for her children. For most men, that idea may feel unfamiliar. Colossians 3, Paul again reminds husbands to love their wives and not grow bitter towards them. But, maybe the most powerful calling of a husband is found here: to help make her holy, cleansing her “by the washing of the water through the word,” Ephesians 5:26.
Men, we aren’t experts-but if we commit to these biblical principles, our needs will be met far more than we expect. I know in my home, when I step up and lead my wife responds differently-and not just how she treats me, but also in how she grows. She becomes a better version of herself. She feels confident because she has a man supporting her. God designed marriage with intention: for men to lead, and for that leadership to bring life, security and direction. So, serve your wife. Lead her spiritually and do so with humility, consistency, and love.
