“What Seventeen Years of Marriage Taught Us”
This week I asked my husband to share five things he has learned from seventeen years of marriage. Some of the best lessons tend to grow from day-to-day moments when we take time to notice them. Here is what he said…
1. Show Up or Be Present.
This doesn’t come natural to me, especially with late night games. I am horizontal way too early, but if you have kids, they want their dad there and our presence makes them feel important, supported, and secure. Work will always be there. Hunting season will come back around. But these years with your family go fast. Show up for the games, the school things, the little and the big moments-and when you can’t be there, really be present in ordinary ones: dinner around the table, rides in the car. Putting your phone away is key. Those moments can be just as meaningful.
2. Read your Bible.
It means more to your wife than you probably realize and more importantly, God will teach you something through that Book. You don’t have to have all the answers—you just need to stay close to the One who does.
3. Love your spouse without keeping score.
Marriage isn’t about tallying up who was right, who was wrong, who did more, or who apologized last. Serve each other. Support each other. Be on the same team. God designed marriage that way. And remember—your children are watching. In a world that doesn’t always model respect, commitment, and faithfulness well, let your marriage show them something different.
4. If you live in a house full of women… get a dog.
Those women talk a lot. They have a lot of feelings. There are a lot of words. So, men, get a dog… or have a son. You may need somebody in the house who understands the beauty of sitting quietly and saying absolutely nothing. Try hard to listen though or set aside time to listen intently because it matters to them.
5. Lead—with humility.
Men are called to lead their families, but biblical leadership isn’t about getting your way or being in control. It’s about being present, listening, protecting, praying, and being willing to put your family before yourself. Things won’t always go your way. You won’t always get it right. Stay humble enough to apologize, humble enough to listen, and humble enough to let God lead you first. Take your family to church. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” James 4:6
____________________________
And that’s his five... Id’ say that’s great perspective! But before you think we have this figured out-or that any of this comes easy-know that these lessons took years to learn. Many through disagreements, hard seasons and a lot of growing up together. The amazing thing is that God has used trial and error to produce growth and grace. We have learned that difficult seasons can bear beautiful fruit. We’ve also learned that the strongest marriages are built in the ordinary moments made intentional. Take time to ask The Lord to reveal areas in your marriage that need growth , and watch Him meet you there with an abundance of grace.
